Today I feel the one who is my own is the one I have no right to call my own , sounds deep but necessary to know .
I will forever be glad for God as he provided me a person I could humbly , joyfully turn into but no longer much.
My time with him is over I guess but these are the secrets he will never know . The big mistake I did was lie to a person who I really loved because everytime I made him realize with joy of mine that my heart feels happy for someone else.
How can I love someone orally when my thought occupies a person who has always helped me grow.
But I lost love and my lies won.
Somewhere I’m happy love didn’t win because what I wanted to last is my friendship and for sure it will work .
I don’t really crave love I genuinely crave the worth and growth friendship has to offer . I have settled for friendship by murdering my feelings and it is important for my life because I don’t hurt on name of love or friendship.
I will overcome and every time I will tease him to normalise my behaviour which should never be caught or else I will be drowned.
I won friendship and it’s matters more .
I will be there when he need me always, unsure of mine but all sure for him that I will be for him .
I know 2020 is ending and it was my deepest feeling I couldn’t share so wrote .
I need to master the move on while still having the person and still sharing the same bond 🙂
I will be braver .